you said move on, where do i go?


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I'm Vanessa.I love ice-cream.I love my friends.I love me.I love milo-ice.I love pineapples. If you don't like vanessa, go away! Please treat me nicely =)
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title:
date: Tuesday, 2 June 2009
time:19:21
Ahh fuck.
Not happy today. At all.

But oh well.I've been unhappy for so long, it doesn't matter to continue a few more weeks.

It's been a long day,I'm tired.
It has been a long year, a tough time, and i'm tired.

I wondered how long this could last.Maybe someday years from now ---- if the pain would just decrease to the point that I could bear it----I would be able to look back on those few short months that would be the best of my life.And, if it was possible that the pain would soften enough for me to do that, I would be sure that I will feel grateful for as much time as he'd given me.Maybe someday I'd be able to see it that way.

But what if this hole never got any better?If the raw edges never healed?If the damage was irreversible and permanent?

This would be treated as if he'd never existed someday.And, I know, this is almost impossible and insane.

Ooh. You lucky girl.You have what which I don't and never gettin' it.

Seriously, I'm tired.


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